Age: 13 years and above
Download – Let’s Build Healthy Relationships
Duration: 20 minutes
Information: Bakteen
What will we talk about in this lesson?
Relationships with family members, friends, and other people close to us are an important part of our lives. During adolescence, it is also normal to develop an attraction or romantic feelings towards someone. In this lesson, students will discuss what makes a relationship healthy, how to respectfully communicate what they like and dislike, and how to respect another person’s boundaries. They will also learn to identify unhealthy behaviours such as controlling, pressuring, and intimidating someone, and about seeking support when necessary.
Learning Objectives
- Explain the importance of respect, trust, equality, and communication in a healthy relationship.
- Learn ways to express their likes, dislikes, and personal boundaries.
- Identify controlling behaviour, isolation, and pressure as unhealthy behaviours.
- Understand that if they feel afraid or pressured in a relationship, they can seek support from a trusted adult.
Let’s Prepare Before the Lesson
Before the class, read the Bakteens article and the Quiz at the end of the article. Prepare to display the article on a screen or print the relevant sections.
At the beginning of the lesson, explain clearly that students do not need to share their own romantic relationships or personal experiences in front of the class.
Materials needed: The Bakteens article that can be displayed on a screen or printed, a whiteboard, and pens.
Key words: Relationship, respect, trust, equality, communication, personal boundaries, consent, control, and support.
Let’s Start a Conversation – 2 minutes
Ask the students:
“What does a friend do that makes you feel comfortable and safe when you are with them?”
Ask for two or three responses. Students may mention things such as listening, not making fun of them, respecting their secrets, allowing them to make their own decisions, helping with schoolwork, or sharing food. Write their responses on the board.
Then say:
“Relationships with family members, friends, or someone we love can be different from one another. However, respect and safety are important in any healthy relationship.”
Is This Behavior Healthy? – 4 minutes
Read the following situations one by one. After each situation, ask:
“Is the other person’s decision being respected here?”
In addition to answering “Yes” or “No,” give students an opportunity to explain why.
“If you need to study today, we can talk another day.”
This respects the other person’s needs.
“If you really love me, you should let me look at your phone.”
This uses love as a reason to pressure someone into crossing a personal boundary.
“If you don’t want to send that photo, you don’t have to send it.”
This respects the other person’s decision to say “No.”
“If you are my friend, don’t talk to your other friends.”
This attempts to control the other person and isolate them from their friends.
Briefly remind students:
Loving someone or being close to someone does not give you the right to control their phone, friends, clothing, or decisions.
Let’s Read the bakteens Article – 4 minutes
Now show the “Let’s Build Healthy Relationships” article to the students. Focus on these points:
- Respect, trust, equality, and communication in a healthy romantic relationship.
- Clearly expressing what you like and dislike.
- Understanding that trying to control another person in a relationship is unhealthy.
- Encouraging people to seek support when there is fear, pressure, or violence.
Then ask:
“Which of the four situations we discussed earlier are connected to the ideas in the article?”
After hearing several responses, explain that in a healthy relationship, a person should be able to say, “I don’t like that,” and the other person should respect that.
Choose two of the following questions and discuss them with the class:
- If you disagree about something in a relationship, what can you do instead of shouting or blaming each other?
- How can the statement “If you love me, you will do this” create pressure for someone?
- If a friend is feeling afraid or worried because of their relationship, what can you do?
During the discussion, explain:
Having romantic feelings is normal. However, love does not give anyone the right to pressure, humiliate, or hurt another person. If something like this is happening, they do not have to deal with it alone; they can seek support from a trusted adult.
Now Let’s Do the Quiz – 4 minutes
Do the Quiz at the end of the Bakteens article with the students. They can answer individually or discuss the answers together as a class.
The questions provide an opportunity to think about controlling where another person goes, communicating what they like and dislike, and behaviours that are part of a healthy relationship.
After a student chooses an answer, ask:
“Why did you choose that answer?”
Use the Quiz not as an examination, but as an opportunity to discuss and correct misunderstandings.
Final Message – 2 minutes
Ask the students:
“Tell me one thing that should be present in a healthy relationship.”
After hearing several responses, conclude with:
“In a healthy relationship, we should be able to be ourselves, express our opinions, and say ‘No.’ Both people respect each other. If someone is controlling you, frightening you, or pressuring you to do something you do not want to do, talk to a trusted adult and seek support.”
A Small Reminder for Teachers
It is not necessary to read every part of the article aloud in class. Use the article as a tool that gives students opportunities to think and talk.
Question → Students’ ideas → Short activity → Information from the article → Discussion → Quiz
This article also contains information about consent, sexual behaviour, and leaving an unhealthy relationship. If students ask questions about these topics, respond calmly without making them feel ashamed.
During the 20-minute lesson, do not try to explain every point in detail. If necessary, set aside time for a separate discussion.
Let’s Create a Safe Classroom
- Agree with the class that no one’s feelings, friendships, or romantic relationships will be made fun of.
- Do not ask personal questions such as “Who has a boyfriend or girlfriend?” Allow students to skip a question if they do not want to answer.
- Talk about the people in the examples; do not make assumptions about the students’ personal lives.
- If a student discloses pressure, threats, or violence, listen calmly without discussing the matter in front of the class. Follow the school’s child protection and referral procedures.
This resource has been developed based on the Age-Appropriate Sexuality Education, Communication Guideline for Sri Lanka.
Key Concept 6: Skills for Sexual Well-Being
Read more: [UNFPA – Age-Appropriate Sexuality Education, Communication Guideline for Sri Lanka]
